i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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