I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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