Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can't turn off my feet"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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