yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
