why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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