I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
