Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
