Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
