you traded sex for a burrito?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
