Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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