am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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