i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
