just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
