You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
