What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
