bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
