i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
