i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
