it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
