you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
