I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
soo... how was my night?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
