after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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