very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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