So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
