"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
