I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
