Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
