Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
