Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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