whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
