I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
They have beer where we have blood.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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