I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
