There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
