I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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