Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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