i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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