He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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