Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
