i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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