Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
