Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize