Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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