She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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