Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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