matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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