I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
