Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
