belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I look better un-naked...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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