a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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