Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Two words: blizzard sex
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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