my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
honey bunches of taint.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize