Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
