Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
