Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
it glows. i had to have it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
