I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
