Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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