Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just barfed on his mom.

(404): View more from Georgia

You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.

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(312): View more from Illinois

i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

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(410): View more from Maryland

i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations

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(940): View more from Texas

...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.

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(343): View more from Ontario

there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer

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