I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
