so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
