Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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